Christian Mythos 

 

Constantine (2005)

Policewoman Angela Dodson (Rachel Weisz) seeks the aid of demon hunter John Constantine (Keanu Reeves) in finding the secret behind her twin sister's alleged suicide.  The trail will lead them to demons, angels, Hell, and the Spear of Destiny, the weapon that kill Christ and may be the key to the destruction of the world.

I don't own a lighter.  That's really my problem.  You see, cool guys have lighters, and I don't mean any modern plastic thing; I'm talking about old-school, metal lighters that 'tink' when you close them.  They need to do that as that's the sound of coolness.  And John Constantine is so very cool.  That lighter never stops 'tinking.'  I suppose he could have done more cool things, or better yet, turned down the angst several notches, but no, it's all about the lighter.

Constantine, on the other hand, is all about the look, and it's got one.  Darkened streets, post-apocalyptic Hell, winged angels, scuttling demons, and they all look cooler than a man with two lighters.  If you can ignore the excessive number of high, overhead shots and some absurd camera angles (you really need a reason to tilt a scene forty-five degrees), the movie looks great.  Score one for the art director and several more for the special effects team.

For a story about the destruction of our happy existence, as well as a suicide and lung cancer, it is emotionally distant.  I can't say I cared about the plight of humanity or Constantine's fate since music video director Francis Lawrence didn't seem to.  Instead of making a connection with the audience, showing that we should care, Constantine settles for telling us that it's all quite sad and then zapping to another action scene.  Perhaps if there was something exciting in those action scenes, but that would require something personal at stake, which necessitates knowing the villains, and Lawrence doesn't have time for that.  A fight to the death with Balthazar should have been a gripping grudge match, but Balthazar, like Constantine's friend, Father Hennessy, is a nobody.  If something happens to a nobody, does it matter?

I will bow to the story's complexity and twisted Catholic mythos (varying from what I recall from my long ago catechism class), as it was stolen from the best.  I can let the similarities to The Exorcist go as an homage, but the pillaging of The Prophecy crossed the line.  Explaining the looting would give away the ending of both films, so suffice it to say that if you've seen The Prophecy, you've seen Constantine.

I enjoyed Constantine in the same way I enjoyed Van Helsing.  Neither pulled me in or displayed anything worth recalling after I'd left the theater, but they were both pretty.  I didn't really expect more.

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