Aug 131998
 
two reels

Mike, having found out that he is going to become an alien, or is already an alien, or is carrying an alien in his head (it’s not clear, and is never made clear) goes off on his own, chased, often in his dreams, by The Tall Man. Reggie tries to either rescue Mike or kill The Tall Man—again, it’s not clear.

The fourth outing in the Phantasm series is cobbled together from outtakes from the first film combined with new footage. The effect is what you’d expect. Things happen because they had old shots of those things. The new stuff is just as incoherent as ever, leaving a film that’s nonsense even by Phantasm standards. Some of that nonsense is fun, but it is still nonsense.

For much of the film, Reggie is on his own, running into the occasional zombie or monster. He journeys through empty towns and picks up a girl with peculiar breasts but for the most part does nothing related to the story for the first hour..

Mike spends this time in surrealist landscapes that sometimes are dreams and sometimes aren’t. He also develops telekinesis, which is later ignored, attempts suicide, and travels in time. The last is the strangest as it is a new power that comes out of nowhere, is then suggested to be the answer to everything, and then comes to nothing.

The plot, such that it is, doesn’t move much till the end. It is just “stuff happening.” With that stuff, the mythology of Phantasm gets switched around and any answers we’ve gotten the past are thrown out. The Tall Man is no longer an alien, a good guy is now a bad guy, Jody died in a car crash while his parents were still alive, and Mike’s alien side isn’t at all what it was implied to be in the last film. And Tim, one of the lead characters in that last film, is absent without comment. There could be multiple well considered reasons for all that, but I tend to think it is related to two of Coscarelli’s statements: First, that he’d run out of ideas after Lord of Death, and second, that he was only making another Phantasm film for the money.

Does all that make Phantasm IV weaker than its prequels? Not really. It is the same meaningless, flightless, surreal drug trip that any Phantasm fan should expect.

The ending is annoying, being even more open ended than in previous installments, but these films never left anyone with a sense of completion.

 Horror, Reviews Tagged with:
May 031998
 
one reel

The Cromwell children, Marnie (Kimberly J. Brown), Dylan (Joey Zimmerman), and Sophie (Emily Roeske), didn’t know they are from a long line of witches, until their Grandmother (Debbie Reynolds) comes to visit their mother (Judith Hoag), and lets it slip.  The kids follow their Grandmother back to Halloweentown, where friendly monsters and magical entities live in a bright, bustling community.  But an evil force has come to Halloweentown, and Marnie is going to help her Grandmother fight it, no matter how much her mother wants her to be a normal kid.

The idea’s good.  Crossbreed Harry Potter with The Nightmare Before Christmas and aim for families with young kids.  I can’t argue with that.  Not when the plot has a clever, easy to understand for those six-year-olds, finale, and when Debbie Reynolds pops up as the still-pretty-cute grandma.  What kid doesn’t love monsters or want to be a witch?  And who wouldn’t want Debbie Reynolds as an eccentric relative?

But the execution is amateurish.  Most of the monsters, wearing latex masks or given quickie makeup jobs, look no better than what you’d find at a Halloween party.  The set could be a new “land” at Disney World (Is it?), never giving the mildest illusion that it actually exists, or is bigger than a few building.  The acting is as good as the makeup.  Young Emily Roeske manages the adorable little girl part, and Reynolds is fine in a one-note role (not good, but “fine”), but the rest of the cast don’t measure up to the level seen on bad sitcoms.

All of that could be forgiven if the script was better.  Yes, the idea might be good (the advantage of stealing) but the dialog doesn’t live up to its potential.  There is a disconnect between the writers and real children and teens.  To make it “real,” a substantial portion of the movie is filled with a steam of insults no kid would use.  That would be OK if they were cleverer than what children say.  No luck.  It is dialog in search of a lowest common denominator and never realizing it has sunk too low.

The characterizations could use some help too.  Harry Potter’s relatives try to deprive him of his heritage because they are horrible people who exist for us  to hate (oh, there’s motivations given, but they don’t matter).  So, what’s the deal with Gwen Cromwell?  She’s doing the same thing.  That’s fine in an off-the-wall comedy character, but she’s a “loving” mom and we’re supposed to like her.  Half the film is taken up with this loathsome mother trying to keep her kids dull.  Unfortunately, they are dull.  The joke, that Dylan doesn’t believe anything that is happening to him and has no imagination, could have been funny once or twice (though in this case, it wasn’t), but never fifty or sixty times.  Your three-year-old will be annoyed at this kid.  Marnie needs to be a whole lot more likeable as well to hold the story on her shoulders.  Maybe if she’d killed her mom…  Hey, it could work in a Disney film.  Do you know any company that makes more films where parents die?

Halloween could use more pleasant family entertainment.  Don’t expect to find any here.

 Halloween, Reviews, Witches Tagged with:
Apr 201998
 
3,5 reels

Dr. Niko Tatopolous (Matthew Broderick) is drafted onto a team that is investigating attacks by a giant monster. They quickly discover that a huge, radioactive lizard does exist and it is heading toward New York. Waiting in the city is Tatopolous’s ex-girlfriend, Audrey Timmonds (Maria Pitillo), who is trying to get a break as a news reporter, and her cameraman friend, “Animal” (Hank Azaria). Also headed to New York are French spies, lead by Philippe Roache (Jean Reno), who are interested in the monster.

Godzilla is discussed as a reboot/remake of the Japanese monster, but really we should go back one more step. The 1954 Godzilla was inspired by The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms (1953), and so is this newer version. A nuclear bomb causes a dinosaur-like creature to arise and create a bit of minor mayhem before making its way to New York. It is countered by a small team of scientists and military folks within the larger government response. And of course, things don’t go as planned. That’s The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms, so this Godzilla gets its name fairly, but not because it is the child of the Japanese films, but rather because they are brothers, both children of an American B&W stop-motion picture.

And it does its parent proud. It’s a little silly and a lot of fun. The characters aren’t multi-layered, but then that’s hard to find in a monster movie. They also aren’t drab, which is equally hard to find. They serve their purpose, without ever feeling unnecessary, as the humans do in so many Godzilla films. And the monster destruction is jubilant, if you happen to be the kind of person who finds crashing through buildings and downing helicopters the definition of a good time. I am that kind. The FX work is great; the big beast would have taken the blue ribbon if Steven Spielberg hadn’t set the bar impossibly high a few years earlier with Jurassic Park.

godzilla98So, a fun, dumb, Saturday afternoon movie. But it didn’t do well among two groups: film critics and geek fanboys, and in this strange case, they’ve gotten the general population to go along with them. Critics were going to hate it. These kinds of exuberant destruction flicks tend not to have acting and dialog that deserves an Oscar. But that’s really beside the point; no matter what went up on screen, Godzilla was not going to get critical approval. Roger Ebert loathed it, but that was a given before he saw it. The characters of Mayor Ebert and his aid Gene are in the film because of the pair’s disdain for Independence Day and Stargate. Things have changed in the nearly twenty years since Godzilla came out, and newer critics are more likely to accept a giant monster or science fiction action flick, but not so then. And it shows in that most of those reviewers who despised Godzilla were, like Siskel and Ebert, equally negative toward all the works of the directing/writing/producing team of Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich. And that makes sense. Any criticism you can level against Godzilla goes double for Independence Day. Silly characters making some jokes in the midst of battle? Check. Pauses for triumphant shots or gratuitous destruction? Check. A lead actor not bothering to play his character? Double check. Devlin and Emmerich have a style that makes all their films a good time, and pretty much the same. If you don’t like Independence Day and Stargate, then yes, Godzilla isn’t for you as they are three of a kind.

I like them all.

Yup, exactly the same...

Yup, exactly the same…

The fanboy criticism was (and still is) much sillier. While they pick at the film here and there (which generally fails the moment they admit to liking Independence Day), their real complaint is that the monster isn’t “their” Godzilla. What I find peculiar is that people are willing to admit that out loud. If I was afflicted by any such thoughts I’d keep them to myself, or perhaps only bring them up in therapy session. My guess is if Devlin and Emmerich had given the film a different name (“Zentra the Radioactive Monster”), the fanboys would have loved it, and I’ve had as much admitted to me. But since it wasn’t, they are offended that the monster doesn’t mirror the one with the same name from their childhood. It is hard for me to argue against such a ridiculous position as I find this need for sameness and fear of any change to be foreign and juvenile. But it is at least amusing to look at that unchanging Godzilla from their childhood. In the Japanese films, he’s been created at least five different times. He was a violent force of nature, and then a defender of Japan before becoming a cuddly friend, an anti-pollution activist, and an abusive father. At one point he could chat. Another time he became the physical form of the angry ghosts of WWII dead. Most recently he started out as a shark-type creature before mutating and gaining the ability to shoot lasers from his back plates. A collection of ghosts is far more of a change then making him smaller and subtracting his fire breath.

So I reject the stupidity of the fanboys and disagree with the old-school film critics. Godzilla is a lively romp and an entertaining time.

Oct 111997
 
toxic

Faithless, and therefore unhappy, astronomer, Dr. Eleanor Arroway (Jodie Foster), searches for years for signs of extraterrestrial life.  Along the way, she is thwarted by shortsighted scientist Dr. David Drumlin (Tom Skerritt), and she meets  man-of-faith, Palmer Joss (Matthew McConaughey), who will later become an advisor to Bill Clinton.  Finally, she discovers a broadcast from space that includes instructions for a mysterious machine.

Contact is a message film, a club-you-over-the-head, drill-it-into-your-brain, napalm-your-pupils-and-let-your-optic-nerve-incinerate, message film.  I’ve seen Mack Trucks jack-knife with more subtlety.  Interestingly, it isn’t the same message Carl Sagan was trying to get across in the book.  This is not meant to complement Sagan for his fiction, as he is responsible for the general plot.  Sagan was a brilliant scientist who had a knack for explaining the complexities of astrophysics in an entertaining way.  That ability does not translate to fiction.  But Sagan was not a man of faith, and all Contact is about is faith.  Apparently, science is a religion, and all religions are the same, so it doesn’t matter what you believe, as long as you believe.  Swell.

To articulate this highly dubious theme, director Robert Zemeckis, a man with a deft eye for comedy but who can’t tell drama from melodrama any better than his Forrest Gump, is willing to violate all rules of good storytelling.  Hackneyed dialog?  It’s here.  Dramatic speeches on the meaning of life, recited directly to the audience?  They’re here.  Crying children?  Oh yes.

The first hour of the film is basically about funding.  Arroway has funding.  She loses funding.  She searches for funding.  She gets more funding.  There is nothing more exciting than accounting and grant proposals.  But stuck in the middle of this breathtaking bookkeeping is the implausible romance of Arroway and Joss.  Joss apparently hangs out around radio telescopes.  Hey, who doesn’t?  He is deeply religious, and she’s an atheist.  Because they are played by reasonably attractive stars who are costing the studio some bucks, they naturally jump in bed together.  There’s no other reason.  But Arroway won’t phone Joss afterwards because she has no faith and her daddy died years ago.  But don’t worry romance fans, you know it will all work out once she gets faith.  Then it’s back to funding.

That’s not really fair of me.  It’s not all about funding.  There’s also needless flashbacks to Arroway getting cuddly with her father and asking inappropriate questions like can she call her dead mother on the radio.  And there’s a combo funding/flashback scene where a rich guy, who pops up whenever there’s no reasonable way for the plot to progress (to the extent that it ever does), shows Arroway scenes of her own life, many that we’ve already seen.  Wow, nothing I like better than watching characters watch things I’ve already watched.  I suppose the rich guy had a point as you never know when an obsessed scientist might forget her own life.

But then we get past the funding angle and into the overly emotional snarking.  You see, Dr. Drumlin opposes most of what Arroway does because…he’s evil.  That’s pretty much all the character development he gets.  He’s an evil scientist.  When Arroway makes contact with aliens, Drumlin wants to take the project from her because…he’s evil.  There’s also one-note Michael Kitz (James Woods) who’s perpetually grumpy and tries to get in Arroway’s way because he’s evil.  He’s an evil government agent.

In this second hour, when people aren’t arguing just for the sake of arguing, we’re presented with contrived events.  Ignoring the absurd choices for space traveler, and ten or twenty other equally fanciful moments, I’ll just mention the terrorist.  Yes, there’s a terrorist.  He just walks in with explosives strapped on.  So, there is no security at the most important and most expensive project in history.  OK.  As hard as that is to accept, harder is that Arroway is the only one to spot him.  Gosh that girl is everywhere.

Zemeckis, apparently proud of his gimmick of putting film characters into archival footage, does it again.  Our “heroes” get to sit in on meetings with President Clinton.  What Zemeckis fails to understand is that the trick worked in Forest Gump, to the extent that it did, because it was funny.  Here, where it is played seriously, all it does is rip the viewer out of the film.  It draws far too much attention to itself.  I’m not thinking, “Hey, there are the characters dealing with this important issue with the president of the United States.”  I’m thinking, “Hey, Zemeckis has stuck film of his actors onto old film of the president…again.”

Now let me get to the meat of this mess, which means I’m going to be giving away some spoilers from late in the film. This shouldn’t “spoil” the film for anyone as you’d have to be drunk with a bag over your head not to see this plot point coming.  So, Arroway is going off into space on the alien transport device (no, that’s not the spoiler as the studio’s advertising tells you that). The machine looks pretty good—nothing that films and the occasional TV show haven’t done as well, but I feel I should mention it when the film has something that isn’t a failure.  Once it fires up, we get the big FX scene.  I’m sure the filmmakers were very proud of the little tunnel through space they made.  I’ve seen this before in Stargate and Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, but if you like tubes, this is a nice one.  Now why they felt that Arroway had to tell us she was in a tube, I don’t know, but as she glides along, she hands out handy information like, “I’m going into another worm hole.” No kidding. I wondered what was happening before my eyes.

Then she reaches the end of her trip, and finds…this is the spoiler folks, turn back if you don’t want to know…her dead father.  Alright.  Over two hours, and all we get is her father.  Wooo.  I’ve seen TV shows do this many times.  They use one of their regular actors to be an alien in disguise or a dream being, normally because they are too cheap to pay for another actor and because viewers expect to see all their favorite characters each week.  Contact doesn’t have those excuses.  It has no in-story reason for Dead Dad popping up there. This is part of that theme. The faith theme.  Ahhhh!

Sorry.  Onward.  So, with painfully slowness, the film has finally brought us to the alien, who is Dead Dad and all he does is say “Hey, love each other.”  That’s it. If that’s all you have to say, just send a postcard next time.

There follows the stupidest inquiry I’ve ever heard of in film or reality. We’re back to the snarking, but I was too overwhelmed by the absolutely nothing that came out of the alien visit that the pointless bickering did not break through to me.  Ah, but it isn’t pointless, because it all leads to Arroway’s revelation that she has faith.  Now, religion and science can go off together, hand-in-hand.  At least that means this very long film is over. Go in peace.

 Aliens, Overrated Films, Reviews Tagged with:
Oct 091997
 
two reels

Tormented vampire Zackary (David Gunn) hunts Ash (Jonathon Morris), a powerful vampire lord who rules a city and surrounds himself with minions.  However, the hunt is confused by the appearance of Sofia (Kirsten Cerre), a concert pianist that both desire.

Ah, it is so difficult to be a vampire.  Mainly, it is all the time that must be spent in whining.  After you’re done moaning about never seeing the sun and being cursed, there’s so little time left in the night to do anything.  That explains why practically nothing happens in Vampire Journals.  Zackary has a lot of whining to do, and not much time to do it.  With lines like, “In my heart I knew her fate was sealed, as mine had been sealed an eternity ago, a fate of endless nighttime,” can he be faulted for being too busy to engage in a plot?

Set in the same world as the Subspecies films, Vampire Journals drops the characters I barely knew and didn’t care about from the previous three films, and offers up a new set of characters I didn’t get to know and don’t care about.  As previously mentioned, Zachary’s primary characteristic is whining.  He also likes doing imitations of the creepy lab assistant from almost any Frankenstein film.  Ash is a pasty-faced vamp who loves music because the narration says so (now that’s character development).  He is vastly powerful, except sometimes when he’s a total wimp.  And Sofia…she’s…she’s…she’s the girl who keeps her top on.

OK, so the characters are a wash and the plot is non-existent (and climaxes in a chase/fight that has all the excitement I’ve come to expect of a Merchant-Ivory film), plus there is an overblown narration, but that makes the flick sound worse than it is.  For its low budget, the camera work isn’t bad, and the Romanian locations have more atmosphere than anything Hollywood could build.  The buildings are opulent, old, slightly worn, and foreign.  And in those settings, Vampire Journals repeatedly finds a tableau worth examining.  These moments are more like paintings than parts of a film, and are best viewed as such.  Most involve a vampire overcome by bloodlust and one or more bare-breasted beauties.  As long as you have no problem saying that a blood-covered scene can be attractive, you’ll see something that will entertain, if only momentarily, and if you are a fan of the gothic, you’ll find these shots sublime.

Several of the characters popped up in Bloodstorm: Subspecies IV a year later.

 Reviews, Vampires Tagged with:
Oct 091997
 
one reel

Bitter, slimy, tabloid reporter, Richard Dees (Miguel Ferrer), investigates a series of murders at rural airfields. Dees, who has a psychic connection to the killer, begins to suspect that the killer is a real vampire as a new cub reporter tries to take the story away from him.

In the improbable world of Night Flier, the police and legitimate news agencies ignore strings of bloody murders, while tabloids have investigative reporters. Yup, in order to get those stories about Elvis sightings and yetis, tabloids have highly trained, competitive reporters who travel the country. Sure. The film clings to the exploits of Richard Dees, no matter what he might be doing since it’s a lot cheaper to show him drinking in a bar than to show the vampire doing anything. But considering the half-kangaroo look of the vampire when we finally do see him, less is definitely more. Dees actions are beyond stupid. He enters an airport filled with gruesomely mutilated bodies, believing the killer to still be there (and believing he is a vampire), and slowly wanders taking pictures. Then when he slips on blood, he goes to wash up. Wouldn’t any sane person be running? For a time, the film implies that Dees is the killer, which would give the film some value and explain away a few implausible actions, but that possibility is smashed at the end, so we’re left with Dees acting in ways that just don’t make sense (plus no explanation for his psychic ability).

There is one scene toward the end that is almost worth watching. Dees meets the vampire (named Dwight Renfield—really) in a washroom and there are a few cute gimmicks, but then the vamp starts speaking in a junior-high-theater voice and, like the rest of the film, it turns out ridiculous.

 Reviews, Vampires Tagged with:
Oct 091997
 
one reel

Another killer in a mask is after Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) and the other survivors (David Arquette, Courteney Cox, Jamie Kennedy) from the first Scream film, but this time, it is the rules of a sequel that are being followed.

Quick Review: The strength of Scream was that it did something different; outside of that, it was nothing special, but “different” means a lot in horror. Well, this is a sequel, so it’s no surprise that what was different is now a repeat. It starts off well, with the events in the first film having been made into the movie “Stab.” That joke and some bits about sequels are good for a few laughs, but that’s it. There was enough material for an excellent 15 minute short. Unfortunately, they dragged it out into a feature.

 Reviews, Slashers Tagged with:
Oct 091997
 
two reels

When the office proofreading drudge (Carol Kane) accidentally electrocutes an unpleasant co-worker and things get better, she starts taking out the rest of her colleagues on purpose.

Quick Review: Because Office Killer was directed by famed art photographer Cindy Sherman, there is an urge to look at it as a meaningful statement about post-modern feminism in the changing corporate world. Suppress such urges. Office Killer will not hold up to that kind of scrutiny, but as a cheap Slasher-comedy, it’s not too bad. Kane has the right amount of put-upon psycho for the part of the office drone who keeps dead bodies and protects them by putting scotch tape over their gaping wounds. Molly Ringwald and Jeanne Tripplehorn are a step up from the normal Slasher cast. Unfortunately, once a few murders have been gleefully performed, the whole thing loses steam. It’s easy to cheer for the maniac at first, but she ends up little more pleasant than her co-workers and the jokes are long gone by the three-quarters mark. It looks like Sherman had an idea of how to start the film, but no idea of what to do with it. The off-beat, anti-corporate, gory, first half keep Office Killer  watchable, but it should have been better.

 Reviews, Slashers Tagged with:
Oct 091997
 
one reel

Four high school students (Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Geller, Ryan Phillippe, Freddie Prinze Jr.) accidentally kill a man and then dump the body in the sea to avoid manslaughter charges.  Later, they receive a note saying “I know what you did last summer.”  As they try to find the author of the note,  people begin to die.

Quick Review: Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer are credited with revitalizing the Slasher film.  Scream did add something different to the sub-genre but I Know What You Did Last Summer is the same old thing.  This is an early ’80s film and might have been revolutionary in the year of Friday the 13th, but now it’s an unnecessary retread.  There is nothing new here.  Love Hewitt is better than average for the heroine of a Slasher flick, while the talented Geller phones in her performance, and Phillippe and Prinze are substandard (which is Prinze’s normal condition).  This was an unnecessary film to make, and is an unnecessary one to watch.

 Reviews, Slashers Tagged with:
Oct 091997
 
two reels

Mr. Garrison’s overly religious Christmas play draws the ire of Kyle’s mom.  She protests that it is insensitive to Jews.  Soon, everyone in South Park is arguing and all symbols of Christmas, religious and secular, are removed.  When the mayor asks for a new holiday symbol, Kyle (voice: Matt Stone) suggests Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo.  After run-ins with his parents, friends, and the school counselor over the reality of Mr. Hankey, Kyle is committed as a clinically depressed fecalphiliac.  24 min.

The first Christmas episode of the regular series, Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo riffs on A Charlie Brown Christmas (with Stan giving Linus’s speech, complete with “Lights please” and all the kids running out to catch snow on their tongues) and It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (with Kyle believing in an odd holiday figure that rises up to give presents).  It also takes jabs at those who protest public institutions supporting religious observances as well as religious groups objecting to secular symbols.  The message of everyone just being OK with whatever symbols institutions employ, even if forced upon your family members, is simplistic and vacuous, but hey, this is a cartoon about foul mouthed eight-year-olds, so who cares about the message?

The jokes work better than the meaning, particularly when Kyle is repeatedly caught in what appears to be deranged actions involving feces.  There’s also a live-action commercial for The Mr. Hanky Construction Set that is reminiscent of the fake-ads in the first season of SNL (back when that show was funny).  This is the first appearance by school counselor Mr. Mackey, who’s at his best.  “So try to stay positive, stay away from drugs and alcohol, and in the meantime, I’m gonna put you on a heavy regiment of Prozac.”

As a Christmas episode, it should be no surprise that there are more songs than usual, with:

  • We Wish You a Merry Christmas  (students)
  • I’m a Jew, a Lonely Jew (Kyle)
  • Kyle’s Mom is a Stupid Bitch (Eric)
  • I’m Going to Lay You Down by the Yule Log  (Chef)
  • The Dreidel Song (Kyle)
  • Mr. Hanky, The Christmas Poo (everyone)

While that might sound like a pretty busy episode, there’s a lot less going on than normal for South Park.  With fewer routines, it relies heavily on the joke of a talking piece of poo.  The problem is, it’s not that funny.  I suppose we’re supposed to be shocked, and I’m sure some people are, but I’m not.  Without that “gasp” factor, much of Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo falls flat.  South Park can be wonderfully sick and twisted, and its pretty clear that’s what creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone thought they managed with Mr. Hankey.  They were wrong.

Oct 061997
 
two reels

American Andy (Tom Everett Scott), Brad (Vince Vieluf), and Chris (Phil Buckman) visit Paris and find French girl, Serafine (Julie Delpy), about to commit suicide by jumping from the Eiffel Tower. Andy saves her, not knowing she is a werewolf. Invited to a party where the guests are meant to be dinner by her less well-meaning pack mates, Andy escapes, but is bitten and now he and Serafine must find a way to survive as wolves.

A different title would have been smart, as this one invites comparisons to An American Werewolf in London, and that doesn’t help this lesser flick. It’s hard to find that delicate balance between horror and comedy that Landis achieved; director Anthony Waller attempts it by jumping up and down on one side of the scale while he smashes a sledgehammer on the other side. Guess what? He fails. By a lot. The comedy is low-grade sitcom, things that would have gotten the writers of Gilligan’s Island fired as being beneath the dignity of the cast. The horror consists of CGI cartoonish werewolves. I’m not in the anti-CGI camp. Sometimes computer-made monsters work. Not here. The wolves look funny, not scary, and far too fake to elicit fear.

Still, even with poor humor and bad effects, this could have been a good film with a sympathetic lead, but Scott lacks the talent to make anything of the poorly written character he’s given. When David walked across that foggy English moor sixteen years ago, I liked the guy and cared when the werewolf ripped into his flesh. But Andy was a mild annoyance at best, and I would have been happier to see the wolves take him apart than have him proceed with the completely unbelievable romance.

Julie Delpy does have the skill to create a real character from nothing and stands out as the bright spot in a dim film. She is notably better than her material. She deserved better.  The closest thing to a laugh came when Serafine tried to calm Andy with the aid of her breasts. It would have been a sexy scene had she been straddling someone else. Delpy, and the fun of watching even horribly artificial werewolves rip apart frat boys, makes this worth keeping on should it appear on your TV screen, but don’t bother seeking it out.

 Reviews, Werewolves Tagged with:
Oct 061997
 
two reels

Lucy Stanton (Rachael Leigh Cook) is the final thing needed by a group of Satanic monks to bring the Devil to Earth.  It is up to her father (Christopher McDonald) to save Lucy.

Screenwriter David Seltzer hadn’t written a good script since 1976’s The Omen, so he dusted off that old success, and rewrote it.  Satan is coming back…again…in the form of a youth.  And again, a father must uncover the truth as others die grisly, devil-induced deaths by falling from heights, being impaled, and being ripped apart by animals (this time it’s house cats instead of dogs—yes, a person is killed by vicious tabbies, probably named fluffy).

Of course Seltzer made some substantial changes so he could sell it as a different movie.  First, he took out all the mystery; everything is given away at the beginning and we just watch the obvious unfold.  Second, instead of just mating with a dog, the devil can only return if a nonsensical combination of events take place, including the countdown of a giant clock, genetically engineered humans, and the removal of the faces of a number of children.  None of that is important to the story, but it is laying there just to confuse matters.  There’s also a lot less action and drama, and a lot more bitching and whining.  What could be more entertaining in a horror film about the end of days than scene after scene of an overprotective father yelling at his late teen daughter about proper behavior?  There’s not a lot to recommend The Eighteenth Angel (it’s a low ), but if you really want a Revelations flick and you’ve seen the good ones, this will do for background.