Oct 061997
 
four reels

Kevin Lomax (Keanu Reeves), a small time lawyer who never loses, is given his chance at the big time by John Milton (Al Pacino).  The job leaves little time for his wife (Charlize Theron) or for thoughts of morality, and Milton may want more than just Lomax’s legal skills.

I didn’t expect to like a Faustian tale starring Keanu Reeves.  I try to go into films with an open mind, but sometimes my expectations just creep in.  Lawyers with the Devil?  Been done.  Keanu with a southern accent dwelling on the nature of good and evil?  Poor choice.

Well, I was wrong.  The Devil’s Advocate is engaging, complex, and explores in a refreshing way the deals with the Devil we’re all offered daily.  Keanu Reeves nailed his role.  His driven, vain (I might as well say it; it pops up in the film enough), loving-but-easily-sidetracked lawyer has layers upon layers.  This is the job of an actor (Keanu needs to put this first on his résumé, at least when looking for serious gigs).  Pacino puts some fun into the proceedings when the heavy themes start to weigh things down.  The few brief nude scenes are beautiful and shocking—both necessities in a film about temptation.  Beyond all of that, I’d watch it again for the relief sculpture in Milton’s office.  That’s what I need for my office.

Not everything is perfect.  For a majority of the film, I didn’t have the sympathy for Lomax’s wife that I should have.  And my negative feelings for his mother (the representative of good behavior and religion) pushed me too far into Milton’s camp.  At 144 minutes, a bit of trimming would have helped the pace.  Not a lot of cutting as it’s good as is, but the difference between a very good film and a great one can be a second here and a moment there.

Oct 051997
 
one reel

Al Simmons (Michael Jai White), a government assassin, is murdered at the command of his boss, Jason Wynn (Martin Sheen). He returns from Hell five years later, horribly burned but with superpowers. He wishes only to see his wife (Theresa Randle) and to seek revenge. Hell has other ideas, and using a demonic clown (John Leguizamo) to prod him, Al may end up starting Armageddon and leading the armies of hell.

Spawn is a film version of one of the most innovative comic book series of recent years.  Too bad there’s nothing innovative on the screen. Spawn pieces together bits from better, though not good, films (Darkman, Batman Forever), using CGI as the glue. I suppose this could be watchable if the CGI looked good or the stolen routines were engaging, but neither is true. There’s some nice cape effects and Spawn’s moving chains are excellent, but Hell looks like a mid-level video game.

Dragging the film down are overlong angst scenes (which lead to nothing—Al whines for a while, then goes off to kill things) and the annoying clown. I’ll give points for Leguizamo putting everything in to the role, but that just ends up being loud. I guess he’s meant to be funny, but I can’t imagine anyone finding anything to laugh at in his tired old jokes and insults. The character also hurts the plot as his every move drives Al away from his bargain with Hell. Martin Sheen also takes the “no action is too broad” approach, playing his part like a carnival barker, shouting out each line. I have no idea who the needless and cliché-ridden narration was supposed to appeal to, but then the film is filled with lots of explanatory dialog. The story isn’t all that tricky that it needs step-by-step annotation.

While the comic is edgy, this is a kid’s film with a bit of violence to make it appear fit for some strange faction of teens that find a graphic novel too challenging. It isn’t fit for anyone else. Try the animated version instead.

Back to Demons

Oct 051997
 
two reels

Long after a great war that wiped out human civilization, a robot named Omega Doom (Rutger Hauer) enters a nearly empty town where an uneasy peace is kept by the remaining robot gangs, the Roms and the Droids.  Omega Doom meets with Zed (Shannon Whirry), the Droid leader, and Blackheart (Tina Cote), the Rom leader, and plays them against each other to in order to destroy both sides.

One of the many (too many) low-budget, apocalyptic robot movies of director Albert Pyun, Omega Doom is more interesting than his normal kickboxing fare, but don’t get too excited by that.

Not so much based on Yojimbo and A Fistful of Dollars as it is written from Pyun’s vague memory of watching those films, Omega Doom is a film that can only be enjoyed by fans of spaghetti westerns.  It has the same slow pacing, numerous close-ups, long pauses in dialog, revolving shots, and pretence that each moment is deeply meaningful that I’ve come to expect from 1960s gunslinging flicks.  This is a film for the very patient.

It is also a film that only a B-movie fan can put up with.  It looks like it was shot over a long weekend in the first set of ruins the filmmakers could find while driving though Eastern Europe.  And the special effects are primitive.  I wonder if Pyun ran out of money before he was finished with them.

For such a cheaply made picture, the cast is surprisingly competent.  Rutger Hauer is always interesting, and I have a soft spot for Shannon Whirry, who is as beautiful as ever, but keeps her shirt on.  I am curious how Hauer signed.  He prefers low budget work over large Hollywood productions as it gives him more time to relax on his boat, but this is low even for him.

With the killer-chicks-in-spandex-looking Roms, some reasonable actors, and lots of wrrrring sounds whenever the robots move, this could have been a fun bit of schlock.  But it is far too pompous and plodding.

Oct 041997
 
three reels

Lagardère, an upstart duelist (Daniel Auteuil) is befriended by the Duke of Nevers (Vincent Perez), the finest swordsman in France, accompanying him to the faraway home of a lover who has produced a child, thus motivating the Duke to marry her.  However, the Duke’s cousin (Fabrice Luchini) is not willing to have another heir between him and power, so sends assassins to kill the Duke and the child.  A complicated series of events leaves Lagardère to raise the child in secret, and sixteen years later, disguised as a hunchback, he plots to set everything right.

It’s all here: Swordfights, revenge, treachery, intrigue, traveling actors, disguises, insanity, murder, elaborate costumes, vast mansions and palaces, scenic vistas, and a romance that reminds you that all times and places have not matched modern Texan sensibilities.  On Guard is a colorful, old-school Swashbuckler.  Not like the cheerful Errol Flynn masterpieces, but in the same family as the somewhat darker Dumas adaptations, such as 1934’s The Count of Monte Cristo or 1973’s The Three Musketeers.  As a Swashbuckler, there are comedic moments, but they may be absent for long periods in which drama and even tragedy take over.

It shouldn’t be surprising that the story is reminiscent of Dumas, since it is based on “Le Bossu,” written by a contemporary, Paul Féval.  It may be unknown on this side of the Atlantic, but it is part of French culture, and has been filmed at least six times.  I’m afraid I’ve missed the previous versions; most are out of print.  Even this one wasn’t readily available here, taking four years to get to the U.S.

Director Philippe de Broca has no interest in a modern rendition of the material.  The duels are not shot too close to see what is happening, the camera does not shake, and there’s not a speck of grain onscreen.  It’s all lush colors, heroic music, and swordfights that will make any fan of ’40s and ’50s film nod and exclaim, “Yes, that’s how it’s done.”  de Broca sticks with long and medium shots, which are wonderful for the battles, but lack intimacy for character development.  It keeps you apart from Lagardère and the Duke’s daughter, Aurore.

On Guard (a poor title; “The Hunchback,” which is the literal translation, would have been fitting) takes its time.  It feels like a serial (which the book was).  We follow a group of characters and a situation until it reaches a climax, and then we are introduced to many new characters and the plot moves in a new direction.  This happens several times.  As long as you don’t mind a leisurely stroll, it is captivating.

Daniel Auteuil is flawless as a foolish young fencer who ages into a mature, determined hand of justice.  Well, flawless in his acting.  His makeup could use some help, since he changes little over sixteen years.  In fact, only Aurore, who is an infant at the beginning, appears to show any sign of aging, and she ages about twenty years in those sixteen.  Vincent Perez is charming as the Duke who is a little too impressed with himself, while Fabrice Luchini creates a snake of the first order.  But none of the actors can retain the viewer’s attention when the beautiful and energetic Marie Gillain enters a scene.  She could inspire many acts of daring do.

Lagardère’s plan to correct all wrongs is convoluted; I kept wondering if everything wouldn’t have worked out as well if he’d just walked up and stabbed all the bad guys.  That wouldn’t have been as much fun as seeing him masquerading as an amoral hunchback, but it would have been more sensible.

On Guard is the kind of fun Swashbuckler that Hollywood has forgotten how to make.  A few subtitles are well worth the price for some stirring adventure.

Back to Swashbucklers

Oct 031997
 
two reels

Three kids, Marchall (Mario Yedidia), Gilbert (Adam Wylie), and Amy (Clara Bryant), accidentally awaken a mummy by exposing it to moonlight shortly before Halloween.  Harold, the Mummy, is a kindly and child-like monster who needs to be back in his sarcophagus before midnight on Halloween or he will lose his soul.

An unimaginative, but harmless kids film, Under Wraps is just palatable for adults, but should be great Halloween fun for the under-twelve set—the more under, the better.  If you have seven and eight-year-olds, cuddle up on the couch for some family time.  There’s plenty to share with those who haven’t developed discerning taste.  If you don’t have any rug rats, this one isn’t for you.  Some family films can be enjoyed by Mom, Dad, Grandma, weird Uncle Louie, teenaged Mary, and little Harry who is just learning to read—all together or individually.  Think: The Adventures of Robin Hood.  This isn’t one of those.

It’s a Disney flick, so it’s no surprise that the production is uninspired, but competent.  This is cheap stuff, just above half-hour weekly series quality, which is still a step up from the average low-budget fright-fest.  The mummy makeup/costume isn’t embarrassing, and shouldn’t frighten a two-year-old.  The casting of the three kids, the only ones who have enough lines to matter, is a notch above what I’ve come to expect from Disney’s second (or third) tier projects.  Mario Yedidia and Clara Bryant acquit themselves well, but then they have the well written characters who horde the clever dialog.  Bryant’s Amy has some one-liners that work and Marchall is an amiable heroic straight man.  Poor Adam Wylie is stuck with the stereotypical cowardly dweeb.  He does as good a job as anyone could in a role best removed from the picture.

There’s nothing new, thoughtful, or daring in Under Wraps.  You won’t remember it a week after seeing it nor will you morn that fact.  But for a Halloween afternoon with the kids, it will do nicely.

 Halloween, Mummies, Reviews Tagged with:
Jun 301997
 
two reels

Kull (Kevin Sorbo), a barbarian warrior from Atlantis, kills King Borna (Sven-Ole Thorsen) of Acheron and, by Borna’s last words, becomes king. The two surviving heirs team with a sorcerer to usurp the kingdom by resurrecting the powerful demon-witch, Akivasha (Tia Carrere).  Akivasha takes the kingdom for herself while Kull, a priest, and a harem girl (Karina Lombard) search for a magical way to kill the witch.

Kull was “the other barbarian” from pulp writer Robert E. Howard, and as Kull is the lesser-but-too-similar creation when compared to Conan, Kull the Conqueror is the lesser-but-too-similar film when compared to Conan the Barbarian.  There’s some fun to be had, but everything feels like ill-fitting hand-me-downs.

Kevin Sorobo is too modern, too Midwestern and amiable, to pull off a barbarian warrior.  He managed the similar role of Hercules on the television serious Hercules the Legendary Journeys because that entire show was modern—part of the humor was that there was nothing even remotely ancient about that ancient world.  But here, where it should be a magical other-land, Kull’s just a Midwestern, ‘90s kind of guy.

It doesn’t help that the script also makes this a kinder, gentler barbarian. He frees the slaves, promotes religious equality, and won’t take his own harem girls to bed unless they are eager.  And that’s on his first day.  Well, I can’t argue with his actions, but it does take the “barbarous” out of barbarian.

Kull has also drifted into the lands of out-of-place multiculturalism. Acheron is a territory where accents collide, Caucasians have Asian nieces, and girls with heavy European accents have Cherokee brothers.  Just where is this place?

Straying into camp without ever managing funny, Kull doesn’t have the edge or impact to be of much interest.  The naked slave girls are always dressed or somehow blocked, and bloody battles shed barely a drop.  This isn’t sword and sorcery for kids; this is sword and sorcery that parents want to be for their kids.  Kids would want the blood and topless babes. But, for G-rated battles, they aren’t bad.  Sorobo knows his way around a stage-prop axe and looks the part when he’s slaying guards and pirates.

Joel Goldsmith, son of Jerry Goldsmith, creates a half symphonic, half heavy metal soundtrack, to bring in those teens.  Considering the album covers, you’d think that heavy metal would fit with sword and sorcery, but it doesn’t, and this is from a Black Sabbath fan from way back.  The music reminds me that this isn’t a fantasy world, but just a movie released in 1997.

At least the film’s pacing is good.  It never slows down for too long, though it feels like it needs a longer opening.  The film starts with Kull fighting members of the guard in an attempt to join them, while everyone tosses out lines that establish who they are.  Perhaps somewhere on a cutting room floor there is an extra ten minute segment showing Kull arriving in Acheron.

Intended as a third Conan movie until Arnold Schwarzenegger turned it down, Kull the Conqueror isn’t horrible if you are looking for a low rent Conan.

Back to Fantasy

 Fantasy, Reviews Tagged with:
Feb 261997
 
two reels

The caped crusaders (George Clooney taking over for Val Kilmer, Chris O’Donnell) face two new threats, Mr. Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman), while their own relationship is falling apart. And Alfred (Michael Gough) is dying, which brings his niece (Alicia Silverstone) to visit. She gets a costume and becomes Batgirl, because at this point, why not?

Often cited as the worst film of all time (it isn’t even close), Batman & Robin is better than its reputation, but only because its reputation is so bad. So many things are wrong: the cheese that isn’t funny, the over-acting, anything having to do with Chris O’Donnell, George Clooney’s drab take on Batman, the childish message about family and friendship, the excessive number of heroes and villains, the ice hockey fight. It is much like a reworking of the TV show, but without the charm, humor, or understanding of why that worked.

It’s a disaster, but a less painful one than many of DC’s disasters. It is colorful and fast. Uma Thurman is sexy. Alicia Silverstone is adorable. It has the best Alfred (Michael Gough in his 4th appearance in the role). The art design is reminiscent of, if inferior to, Tim Burton’s work, which is a step up from Batman Forever’s. And it even has one or two humorous moments (out of a few hundred attempts), which again, puts it ahead of Batman Forever. While Clooney should be no one’s choice for Batman, his slight but smarmy performance soars over Kilmer’s non-performance.

No one is saying this film is good. I’m certainly not. But in the right mood I can enjoy it.

Batman & Robin follows Batman (1989), Batman Returns (1992), and Batman Forever (1995). The character was rebooted into Nolan’s Dark Knight Trilogy: Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, and The Dark Knight Rises. And he has been again rebooted into Zack Snyder’s Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. Batman first appeared on the big screen in a pair of 1940s serials. He returned in 1966 in Batman: The Movie.

I have ranked the eight theatrical portrayals of Batman.

 Reviews, Superhero Tagged with:
Feb 261997
 
one reel

Army weapon’s designer John Henry Irons (Shaquille O’Neal) quits the military when his evil-for-no-reason co-worker, Nathaniel Burke (Judd Nelson), changes the settings on one of his guns, causing his assistant, Sparky (Annabeth Gish) to be paralyzed. Back in the city, he sees his weapons in the hands of criminals, so with the help of Sparky and Uncle Joe (Richard Roundtree), he builds a super-suit so he can fight crime.

It’s Shaq’s non-acting vs Judd Nelson’s overacting in a battle to determine who can create the most unpleasant on-screen performance. It’s a draw. It’s hard to blame Shaquille O’Neal who comes off as an amiable, oaf. This one is all on the execs at WB who thought that skill on a basketball court translated to the screen. It doesn’t.

Not that Shaq, or Nelson, are helped by the sappy, juvenile script. It doesn’t get simpler than this. Steel is completely good in all way. His enemies are completely evil. And teens are stupid and need direction. This is exactly what superhero and comic book films needed not to be. The camp is high but the wit is low. Don’t expect much from the action or FX either.

Jettisoning Steel’s origin story from the Death of Superman comics was fine. No one needs to be reminded of that comic book. But someone needed to come up with something to replace it with.

At least the film isn’t whiny.

 Reviews, Superhero Tagged with:
Oct 111996
 
three reels

Zane Zaminski (Charlie Sheen), an obsessive astronomer who doesn’t pay enough attention to his girlfriend, detects a transmission that he’s sure comes from an alien intelligence.  He’s quickly fired, but he won’t give up searching and is soon on to a secret that could mean his life.

Quick Review: Directed by David Twohy (Pitch Black, The Chronicles of Riddick), The Arrival is a nicely made little alien invasion flick.  Charlie Sheen defies expectations and pulls off being a scientist.  The rest of the cast is as good or better.  The effects are excellent, if not spectacular, but then it’s not a film going for spectacle.  Twohy’s direction is flawless, making the most of his modest budget with impressive shots.

The problem, if it is one, is that this is a well made film about not much.  Once I’ve said that aliens are invading, I’ve covered the story.  In the 1950s or ’60s, this would have been an extraordinary picture, but by the mid ’90s, this story has been covered in myriad variations, and The Arrival doesn’t go for anything novel.  If you’ve watched a few episodes of The X-Files, then this is well traveled territory.

 Aliens, Reviews Tagged with:
Oct 101996
 
two reels

When the Viking 2 lander mysteriously returns to Earth (it should be on Mars), it is taken to a military complex for study.  Due to a conflict between scientists Case Montgomery (Cotter Smith) and Gracia Scott (Deirdre O’Connell), and Col. Jessie Pratt (Robert Wisdom), a life form escapes.  The complex is sealed, leaving the humans to find the alien before it destroys them.

Quick Review: Also known as Lifeform, this is run-of-the-mill, solitary-alien invasion stuff.  The scientists want to study it; the military wants to destroy it.  They all get locked together in one of those warehouse-type buildings that must be cheap to rent around L.A.  The first third has plenty of arguments between the liberal scientist and the conservative military-man.  The second third is a bug hunt.  None of it’s bad, but it’s not very interesting either.

I’ll give them credit for the final alien design (not the ape-like intermediate one).  It doesn’t appear until the end, but for a low-budget production, it’s fairly innovative.  And the ending is a step up from what I expected.

A yet-to-be-famous Ryan Phillippe shows up in far too many scenes as the only private who doesn’t scream and run.

 Aliens, Reviews Tagged with:
Oct 101996
 
four reels

Aliens invade the Earth in enormous ships, destroying the world’s large cities.  Their technology makes them invulnerable to human weapons.  It is up to a young U.S. president (Bill Pullman), a nerdy computer genius pining for his ex-wife (Jeff Goldblum), a brave fighter pilot (Will Smith), and a drunken trailer park resident who thinks he was abducted by aliens in the past (Randy Quaid), to find a way to defeat the extraterrestrials.

It was (and still is) fashionable for critics to pan Independence Day.  No one listened, and it became one of the biggest blockbusters in cinema history.  This time, I’m on the side of everyone else.  Taking its plot from a combination of War of the Worlds and Earth vs the Flying Saucers, and its character arcs from 1970s disaster films, Independence Day swipes everything that’s fun in those other films and wraps it together with spectacular effects.

The characters are a mix of races and religions, professions, and sexual orientations.  Everyone is just a step from a cliché, and no one is complex or deep, but they all have enough detail to fulfill their part of the story.  By the end, I don’t know these people well, but I know everything I want to know.  And I like them enough to cheer them on.  These are people representing the best in humanity, while swimming in quirky imperfections.  They also have a tendency to utter either humorous or inspirational dialog.  Will Smith has many of the funniest lines as the wise-cracking but tough pilot.  He would reuse the basics of this character again and again in his later films, running it into the ground, but here it is new and entertaining.

This is a movie where everyone except the shady ex-CIA chief has liberal leanings, caring about people and the planet and not caring that the TV station boss is homosexual or that the pilot’s girl is a stripper.  But at the same time, the military is an honorable organization filled with dedicated and fair-minded people.  It is a very patriotic film, but not a mindless, “don’t burn the flag” patriotism that tramples on freedom.  This is patriotism as a love of country that inspires men to fight and sacrifice to protect the lives and freedoms of the people of the United States and the world.  Sign me up.

Then there are the explosions.  Independence Day is the king of destruction movies.  Earth vs the Flying Saucers is a pathetic piece of filmmaking, except for its famous, climatic battle where both the Washington Monument and the Capital Dome are damaged by saucers.  Independence Day ratchets that through the ceiling, frying the White House, Capital, and Empire State Building, to name only a few.  I read one review where the author was appalled that people cheered as those icons were blown away.  Strange man.  Of course people cheered.  It is one of the joys of movies—the old have your cake and eat it routine.  We want to see them ruined, but we don’t want them actually harmed.  God, I love movies.

So, does the story make sense?  No.  Not a bit.  Almost everything about it is silly.  But it is not any more nonsensical than War of the Worlds or Star Wars.  I suppose there are people out there who say that Star Wars sucks because the workings of the Death Star, with its vulnerable duct, are ridiculous.  If you are one of those people, then you won’t like Independence Day.  I agree it would be better if a few moments would pass without something mind-numbingly stupid happening, but you are never given time to dwell on the ludicrous nature of the story.  And Independence Day admits to its foolishness by taking the implausible virus ending to War of the Worlds (the aliens never checked the air for microbes?) and re-treading it with a nod and a wink for the ’90s.

Likable Characters with emotional arcs, humorous dialog, a fast-paced story, spectacular effects including awe-inspiring spacecraft and monumental explosions, humanity displayed as flawed, but with the potential to be something great, and a theme of hope—what more do you want?  Sense?  Well, for a few hours, you can do without sense.

 Aliens, Reviews Tagged with:
Oct 091996
 
3,5 reels

Two on-the-run, violent criminals, Seth & Richard Gecko (George Clooney, Quentin Tarantino), kidnap an ex-minister (Harvey Keitel), his son, and daughter (Juliette Lewis), and use them to escape to Mexico.  While waiting for a contact at a rowdy roadside bar, they are attacked by legions of vampires and must fight till dawn to survive.

A combination of two films that don’t fit together, Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino blend their talents, making a movie that is fifty percent entertaining.  The first half of the film is pure Tarantino, with two gun-toting robbers who swear constantly and repeatedly shoot people.  The style is tense and bloody.  If you’ve seen Pulp Fiction or Jackie Brown you know what to expect.  The difference is there is no underlying theme, no depth of character, no originality of plot, and no wit in the dialog.  When the minister is introduced, there is an implication that a theme of faith will come with him, but that is quickly discarded and we’re back to what feels like a newbie-hack’s attempt to copy Tarantino.  I’m guessing that Rodriguez and Tarantino wanted you to like Clooney’s Seth Gecko, but I found no reason to.  He is almost as bad as his brother, and lacks the excuse of insanity.

However, my character concerns and boredom at the slow movement of the story (what story there is) vanish when the characters arrive at the Titty Twister bar.  Is this because the film’s problems are solved?  Nope.  It’s because the first half of the film is cast away.  From Dusk Till Dawn becomes a completely different picture, with a different style and a different purpose.  Suddenly, it’s a comic-book, light-as-air, violence and nudity fest.  Blood is everywhere, but now it might as well be Kool-Aid for all the shock value it has.  Salma Hayek’s sensual (but strangely non-topless) dance is enough reason to rent the film, and the music she dances to will stick with you for weeks.  Add in hordes of vampires and combat silliness (such as the crotch gun worn by horror master Tom Savini’s character, Sex Machine) and this is exciting, violent, sexy, and funny.  Plus, the final scene is a kick (it’s a map painting, but a nice one).  Rent From Dusk Till Dawn, and let it play while you get your drinks and pop some corn.  When Cheech Marin’s second character (he plays three different ones) starts explaining why everyone should go into the bar, sit down and enjoy.

Followed by the inferior From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money.